


Chess or Death

by yourebrilliant



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, F/M, Future Fic, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 18:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourebrilliant/pseuds/yourebrilliant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A misunderstanding leads to an odd wizards' duel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chess or Death

There were certain things in this world that Draco Malfoy didn’t expect to see. He’d never made a list, exactly, but if he had it would have included things like volcanoes spontaneously appearing in the middle of the Yorkshire Dales, Ron Weasley buying a mansion, that sort of thing. And at the top of that list, had he made one, would have been the sight of Hermione Granger standing in the middle of his living room in the arms of another man.

As he stood staring at the scene in front of him, he felt that last one topple off the list.

She wasn’t even being sneaky about it; that annoyed him the most. He hadn’t come home early, or nipped back to their flat unexpectedly, he was _always_ home at this time, and she knew that. So why was she standing, in the circle of some _other_ man’s arms, smiling up at him as if she thought he was the greatest thing since Godric Gryffindor?

It was the smell of softly singeing robes – as the floo powder ran out and the flames in his fireplace returned to their normal, incendiary, state – that drove him to action. Leaping forward – an action in no small way inspired by a need to avoid third degree burns – he flung himself at the tall dark haired interloper. Vaguely he heard Hermione cry out in shock as her lover swiftly released her to save her from tumbling to the ground with them.

As they landed, Draco’s fall cushioned by the solid form of Hermione’s adultery enabler, Draco shook his hair out of his eyes to get a better look at the man whose life he was about to take.

‘ _Potter_?’ he cried, in shock and horror. He was losing to _Potter_? He was being cast aside for _Harry bloody Potter_?

‘Draco!’ Hermione cried, sounding more annoyed than she really should do for a woman he had caught with her proverbial pants down. ‘Get off him immediately,’ she grunted, pulling ineffectually at Draco’s shoulder. ‘I’m so sorry about this, Harry.’

‘ _Harry_?’ Draco cried his eyes wide with disbelief. ‘Why are you apologising to Harry?’ Beneath him, Harry, lay calmly, arms at his sides, hoping Hermione would distract Draco from his murderous purpose. He was wrong.

‘Draco,’ Hermione was saying, ‘I know this looks bad-’

‘I’ll fight you for her,’ Draco said fiercly, ignoring Hermione completely, all his attention focused on Harry.

‘What?’ Harry asked, green eyes wide.

‘I never expected it to be you and Granger that did this to me again,’ Draco said sadly, ‘but I’m not letting her go without a fight.’

‘Malfoy-’ Harry began.

‘Don’t worry, Potter, I’m not going to hex you. Chess. I’ll play you a game of wizard chess for Hermione.’

Both men ignored Hermione’s indignant, ‘Ex _cuse_ me?’ as Harry tried to determine whether Draco was serious or not.

‘You’re joking, right?’ Harry said at last. ‘Funny, Malfoy. Now get off me.’

‘Potter,’ Draco said darkly, ‘I am _deadly_ serious.’

‘I am _not_ going to play you at wizard chess for Hermione!’ Harry cried, beginning to doubt Malfoy’s sanity.

Draco remained immovable. ‘Chess or Death, Potter,’ he said icily. ‘Your choice.’

‘I- you- Fine,’ Harry said finally. ‘Fine. Chess.’

‘Unbelievable!’ Hermione cried, watching amazedly as Draco stood and helped Harry up.

‘Should we do an Unbreakable Vow?’ Harry asked, suddenly serious.

‘Maybe,’ Draco said. ‘Normally I would trust your honour, but that was before I found you shagging my girlfriend-’

‘Hey!’ Hermione yelled.

‘-so maybe some insurance would be good.’ Both men turned to Hermione.

‘Oh no,’ she called, huffing as she dropped into the couch opposite the fire. ‘You can bind yourselves. In knots, for all I care. I’m having nothing to do with this testosterone-fuelled idiocy.’ Crossing her arms, she turned away from them to stare at the crackling fireplace.

‘Fine,’ Draco sulked. ‘We’ll do _without_ the Vow.’ He gestured to the exquisitely carved Wizard Chess set resting on its own stand in the corner of the well-appointed room. Each piece was intricately carved from a different wand wood, the features gilded with gold. Opposite each other there sat two comfortable arm chairs, lined with supple dragon hide and made from a frame of high quality mahogany.

‘Nice set, Draco,’ Harry commented.

Draco eyed him suspiciously. He was a good player, and cocky apparently. ‘Maybe we should outline the rules.’ He said quickly. ‘When I win-’

‘ _If_ you win,’ Harry interrupted.

‘Fine. _If_ I win, you will never attempt to form a romantic relationship with Hermione Granger. Ever.’ Both men ignored the squeak of outrage from the witch in front of the fire.

‘And if _I_ win?’ Harry asked.

Malfoy looked as if he had just been asked to re-pot Mandrakes. Without ear muffs. ‘Then,’ he sighed, ‘I will step aside and leave you to be with Hermione.’

‘And never try to get her back?’ Harry asked.

Malfoy closed his eyes. ‘Never,’ he said quietly.

Hermione bit her lip as she watched him from the corner of her eye.

‘Right,’ Harry said cheerfully. ‘On with the game, then. I call white.’

‘How Gryffindor,’ Malfoy smirked. ‘Rushing in to battle. You only give me time to set my trap.’

‘Just like a Slytherin,’ Harry countered. ‘All words and no wand. Play, if you’re going to play, Malfoy.’

The two men squared off over the table, steely gazes focused on the thirty-four magical pieces sitting between them, ready for battle.

 

The game went on for hours. After thirty minutes a remarkably unconcerned Hermione left to make a cup of tea and returned with a book and a blanket. By the fourth chapter her attention had begun to be distracted by the action on her left, and by the middle of the sixth chapter she had discarded the book entirely and moved to perch on the edge of the couch, peering, enthralled, at the game.

Though she didn’t play, years of studying in the common room while Harry and Ron played with the school’s more battered pieces had given her a solid understanding of the game. She could see, for instance, that Harry was moving his pieces into a “First Formation” position, his strongest pieces to the front, a collection of less important pieces at the back to counteract any escaping enemy “soldiers”. Malfoy, on the other hand, was using a “Second Formation” strategy, drawing Harry’s central pieces into pointless battles, while his more manouverable pieces crept around the back of the board to attack from the rear.

By the time Hermione became engrossed in the game, the early skirmishes had died out, leaving both men with a reduced force as they settled in for the long haul. Finally, just when Hermione was beginning to think of dinner, Malfoy’s knight skirted past Harry’s bishop and captured his queen. As the wooden blade swept towards her golden crown, Harry shrugged and apologised.

Malfoy whooped with joy. ‘I won!’ he cried, delighted. ‘Hermione! I won!’

‘I see that,’ Hermione said quietly, Draco’s ego was quite large enough without encouragement.

Harry smiled ruefully at her. ‘Sorry, Hermione,’ he said gently. ‘I guess you’re stuck with him.’

‘Looks like it,’ Hermione smiled.

‘I’ll see you later,’ he said, waiting for the flames to turn green before stepping into the fireplace.

‘Mine, mine, mine,’ Draco sang, scooping Hermione up and twirling her around. She shrieked and clutched at his shoulders, her long skirt swirling out as he spun her around.

‘Draco! Put me down!’

Reluctantly, Draco set her back on her feet, his arms remaining locked around her waist. ‘Mine,’ he said, kissing her fervently. ‘Mine. Mine. Mine.’

Hermione pulled away, beginning to feel light-headed. ‘Draco,’ she said sternly, ‘I am not your possession.’

‘Of course not,’ Draco said dismissively. ‘But you are mine,’ his kissed her again, ‘ _all_ mine.’ Suddenly he pulled back, and Hermione staggered in his grasp. ‘Why wasn’t Potter more upset at losing?’ he asked.

‘Why?’ Hermione asked sharply.

Draco frowned down at her. ‘If I had lost,’ he said softly, ‘I wouldn’t just have smiled and left. If he loves you so little, I’m even more glad I won. He doesn’t deserve you.’

‘Oh, Draco,’ Hermione said gently, reaching up to smooth a lock of blonde hair from his forehead. ‘Harry isn’t in love with me.’

‘What?’ Draco cried, letting her go in shock.

‘No, love,’ she said sadly. ‘He was hugging me because he was excited. Ginny said yes,’ she explained.

‘Yes?’ Draco asked, his brain stuttering as his perceptions were turned upside down.

‘To marrying him,’ Hermione added.

‘Oh.’

Hermione gently placed a hand on his arm. ‘Did you really think I’d cheat on you?’

He looked at her, and she felt her heart go out to him at the lost look in his eyes. ‘I don’t know,’ he said quietly.

‘I know you’ve had a hard time,’ she said, gently stroking his arm, ‘but I’m not Pansy. I would never do that to you.’

Suddenly she was swept up in a hug, the breath knocked out of her as he clutched her to him, burying his face in her hair. ‘I know,’ he said fiercly. ‘I know. I know. I just,’ he sighed, ‘forgot. When I saw you...’

‘I know,’ she said, stroking his hair softly.

He kissed her fervently. Then he frowned. ‘Why did he play, then?’

She laughed. ‘You gave him no choice,’ she held up a hand to forestall his reply. ‘Chess or death is not a choice.’

He sighed. ‘At least I beat him.’

‘Mmm,’ Hermione said non-commitally.

‘What does “mmm” mean?’ Draco demanded. ‘You saw me, I beat him. Fair and square for once.’

Hermione coughed. ‘I’m not saying you _couldn’t_ beat him, but, um, Harry was the All-England Wizard Chess Champion last year.’

‘What are you-’ Draco’s eyes widened. ‘He _threw_ the game? That’s what you’re saying. He _let_ me win?’

‘Well,’ Hermione hedged.

‘That’s it,’ he said, stepping away and turning for the fire. ‘I’m bringing him back here and we are playing properly. I will not be _allowed_ to win.’

Assuming that Harry and Ginny would not appreciate Draco suddenly appearing in their fireplace, Hermione grabbed his arm and mentally smacked her forehead for resorting to such _base_ tactics. ‘Draco!’ she cried, hauling him round and pressing herself against him. Flinging her arms around his neck, she stood on her very tiptoes and kissed his breath away.

Scooping Hermione into his arms, Draco carried her over to the couch, suddenly much less interested in challenging Potter. Settling Hermione on the couch, he pulled back to look at her, her warm brown eyes focused on him, her wild cinammon hair flowing over the arm of the couch as she reached up for him.

‘All mine,’ he murmured happily as he leaned down to capture her lips once more.


End file.
